i am a confused child

so life was smooth till one day i've deicded to be stupid and leave my phone at home, and my ex from overseas called me.

FUCK my life

now my feelings are all stired up.

go eat shit

fuck god and his plans,i bet he don't even have any plans,or he starts planning after a few sips of tequilas. no wonder its all so FUCKED up.

FUCK YOU DADDY
FUCK YOU MUMMY
FUCK YOU JESUS and of course
FUCK YOU ALL

you dont even love me like before. i sound like a ten year old whining

anyways FUCK you niggers and good night.

NA

i admit i am in pain.FOR THE FIRST TIME YEELIN HAS FEELINGS!!! my ex so posted his relationship status in facebook. FUCK MY LIFE AND FUCK FACEBOOK

go pop a wine freaks.

for this 100 days of pain i go thru i will get 1 million days of happiness.

jump!

recently a friend of mine kill himself in a foreign country,i'd wish i joinied him.

i think i'd be happier down there.

i've been getting bad HEAD ACHE for not smoking. for the first time smoking cures something.

but i think aids is still the shit.to bad for those who have HIV.
its 3.07 pm and i am heading to sleep.

--- On of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which do you think it is?



i am picking number 2!

still wondering

ok so this month five people told me straight at my face that i am a sick person. i thought i was just crazy but sick dont sound so cool.

define sick for me anyway. i am a little confused.

nick!

so how ironical...like i mentioned lonely lady with nine cats..i met someone who reminded me of my first love.nicholas.


for the first time i think my heart functioned after many years.

i am a wounded satellite

ps: i am saying this out of the context of my friends.

everybody already has somebody.

everyone is getting married.

everyone is getting serious with their relationship.

i am still wandering like a lost sheep.

this is like an instant strike of paranoia that i will be the lonely lady with nine cats. even though i do get to experience meeting many men but in the end of the day i am the lonely one.

even after saying all of this, i would like to be single.

"she likes being good, and I like being happy...."

Edith Wharton

china..oh china

turned two decade and got stranded in china.

didnt get to go for a close friends wedding and meet my best fren before she left for england.

i am starting to amaze my self even more everyday.

but i fell in love with me.

what a joke

UNTIL I HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO LOVE,I WILL STILL BE LOVING WHAT I LOVE.
tragic yet real.

i so want to murder you, but God asked me to do it later

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.i will shooot you!
oh sorry! be right back, gonna go stab the hell out of my mom now.

the great escape

so my iguana planned an escape on me today....unfortunally i caught him while he was running for his life.
i wonder where he wanted to go. really! i might want to take him to dubai.

i am in a bad mood.
i think my mom use to put live bears in my crib when i was a kid.



have a pleasant Monday and fuck you all!

very lethal

so like i have a problem sleeping right?





i got some Atarax from the doc



and i drank some VSOP with it



lethal.



its 10am and i just got out of a roller coaster.



i dreamed of amsterdam, i want to go back there.



good morning guys and welcome to another day on earth.

hey God,where are you?

one day God decided to put Israel next to Palestine and see what happen to both of the nation

then he kicks back on his couch and grab a pack of chips and beer and watch over them from heaven.

and he laughs.

at least he has a sense of humour,i like him.

happy friday's eve.

a million dollar question.

if i had the precise answer to this i will be rich by today. yeah right.

so anyways the question here is what does it take to be really free and happy? have you ever thought of that? well i do! a lot!

To pursue the ultimated of hedonism.to be completely free of all being and even yourself and whatever you are holding back. some find it in the pleasure of playing sports, travelling the world and walking on the untouched ground, a new car, a second wife or even sex. to be really free is to not complain anymore. you will just somehow know when you are happy. your walk seems like a skip,your journey seems like its not going to end because you are just too happy, you purpose seem to be so clear though you do not know what it is. every song you hear is like inner healing and joy.

i battle with my spirit and the people around me to seek for the truth. I'd figured to leave all material things i had and walk this world based on my faith and the people who are willing to help me along the way. leave the me behind and be reborn again as a whole to seek the world and not get enclosed by the society and their expectation on us. sometimes when one seek that freedom, it gets so addictive that he does not want to give up on it and then they get caught up in the filth of this earth. like how sex addicts die of AIDS.i have seek human relationships to make me happy. just like seasons, human relationship comes and go.and then there goes the cycle all over again. then we get caught up in a so called routine that we hate. when relationship becomes a routine we get bored and sick of it.

i want to go to Alaska and hopefully die there.why die old and broke when you can die young and happy? i'd be rich! rich with happiness in my heart. i'd die while watching my favourite mountain and sky. i do not see myself spending my last moment on earth surrounded by prayers of people who are selfish into letting me go to heaven and paradise on my death bed. i do not dream of dying in a stream of my own blood as well. i want to go in peace and leave this earth with the best sight i can ever remember.most of our life's are according to a plan. you are given a plan on how to live your life since the day you were born. so if we always plan on living, when do we plan how to die?
oh foolish society. damn fools

i will be free soon, hence saying that i am spiritually materialized and i have a very big smile on my face.

good night.

wooooohooooooooooooooooooooooo

i like:
good looking men
centrefolds
money
food
fast food
fast cars
faster cars
mansions
fun and
more fun.

i will give this all up and go to Alaska.i will live with wild boars,trees and icy mountains.i'll spread my yoga mat there and strike a pose just to see Alaska upside down and do the cha cha dance.. and laugh out hard at how you people work your ass of at your nine to five job.

i do not want to be poisoned by civilization.

ALASKA HERE I FUCKING COME!

FUCK THIS.

ok i have been like viewing my own blog right and i just realised how crappy this is. i mean 90% of it there is not real input besides some suicidal note or constant whining.

so the purpose of this post is for me to speak about some real stuff about life in general.

some of it might turn out to be really random..so read ahead.

• i dont understand why annoying girls still do not drop dead and die
• weed is boring because everyone is doing it
• weed seller are even more boring
• the kampung malays should really consider wearing their helmet when riding a bike.SERIOUSLY
• we should ban proton saga
• nigger can never date a Chinese unless the chinese girl is really ugly or deformed
• people in self denial are the worst criminal for themselves
• kurt cobian should had not die cause he would take down fucking trance music
• we should have more channels in astro
• girls with high pitch laugh should go for voice surgery. if i was bill gates i WILL pay for their surgery like a scholarship or something.
• girl on girl in clubs are overrated.they end up fucking without a condom.
• we should ban people from dancing on the dancefloor because not many of us can afford medical check up for eye sore
• ps: the micheal jackson is done in the 70's during the afro era. pls leave tht at home, dont bring in to the club
• my dad counts his beer. ;)
• i still dream of america, like a child who dream of disney land
• white girls are ugly
• i hate taking photos, but eversince facebook is out we all compete to upload photo's
• we shud drink beer at night not day time. unless u are indian
• some mix kid are cute. some are just badly formed. so if u plan u get married to a guy please think about how your kid will look like
• at some point middle eastern people are fucked up and so are the malays. i can count with my fingers the good ones.
• i hate rebels without a cause
• whats up people braggin about their drinking lifestyle. we all drank! i think they meant water. opps!
• i want a bigger plasma TV
• cinema's should have a special place for ladies to avoid sexual harrasment
• sexual harraser must go to hell
• my room should have two air conds
• my house shud have a pool
• i should go to london soon as well.

dont puke

even jesus can take a joke

wasted days u dont remember

you woke up with heavy thruds on your head. u feel like vomitting. u feel like you are going through paranoia. every single movement brings paranoia to you. u can still taste alcohol in your throat. you feel confused and of coz dizzy as heck. and you have no idea what happened last night. you feel like there is someone inside your head hammering you skull. you cant barely breathe because you are still so high on yourself.

no no its not the end of the world

in fact u are just wasted

cheers peeps

i am bull-shitting my ass here

i hate this day

let me remind you for those who have no clue at all of no memory at all that velantine's day is in nine days. thats right folks nine days. so am i exicted and all hype up for some romantic dinner ?

NO

you can quote me.

ITS NO

i hate to walk to college and see guys holding flowers for their whosoever gf or crush and other guys at the corner urging them to pass the flowers.

i hate the sight of couples holding hands lookin so happy knowing that its valentine's day

i hate the fact that all the roads are jammed up cause everyone is out, while i need to go to some bar to escape my misery

i hate the fact that my friend keep braggin what she did for her boyfriend and what he did for her.

i hate the sight of red stuff even these words in red are killing my eyes. did i mention PINK?

i hate chocolate cause its fattening

i hate romantic dinner cause the candle on the table stinks!

i HATE VALENTINE's DAY

because i just do

happy valentines day

let me add on

one more reason i wanna kill myself



i cant make it to AMEDIKA.

why did u die ?

his name is kurt cobain and he should not die

wooookaaayyyyy

2009 resolution

it is only the 13th day of 2009 i manage to figure it out.call me slow.fuck you right back at least i have one. here it goes:

• leaving my home to chase my Hollywood dreams(RIGHT. just wanna leave my house period)
• my college application to be accepted or i have to become an indon maid
• growing an apple tree(have u ever tried doing it in Malaysia?) that's the whole point
• growing another apple tree after my first one grow
• go skiing
• bungee jump cause 2008 i was a pussy
• STOP PROCRASTINATING
• get a score of 2000 for my SAT cause exam's a bitch
• leave Taylors cause it suxs big time
• strike a lottery and then shower in a pool of alcohol.(is that even possible? but i cant consider this as a resolution right because i cant control it)
• talk less and do more and then talk even lesser and do more
• date like a pro. love is a game. don't deny it
• go for a gig
• get my second tattoo
• do something to impress myself and everyone else cause your opinion matters.

PEACE PEEPS