a million dollar question.

if i had the precise answer to this i will be rich by today. yeah right.

so anyways the question here is what does it take to be really free and happy? have you ever thought of that? well i do! a lot!

To pursue the ultimated of hedonism.to be completely free of all being and even yourself and whatever you are holding back. some find it in the pleasure of playing sports, travelling the world and walking on the untouched ground, a new car, a second wife or even sex. to be really free is to not complain anymore. you will just somehow know when you are happy. your walk seems like a skip,your journey seems like its not going to end because you are just too happy, you purpose seem to be so clear though you do not know what it is. every song you hear is like inner healing and joy.

i battle with my spirit and the people around me to seek for the truth. I'd figured to leave all material things i had and walk this world based on my faith and the people who are willing to help me along the way. leave the me behind and be reborn again as a whole to seek the world and not get enclosed by the society and their expectation on us. sometimes when one seek that freedom, it gets so addictive that he does not want to give up on it and then they get caught up in the filth of this earth. like how sex addicts die of AIDS.i have seek human relationships to make me happy. just like seasons, human relationship comes and go.and then there goes the cycle all over again. then we get caught up in a so called routine that we hate. when relationship becomes a routine we get bored and sick of it.

i want to go to Alaska and hopefully die there.why die old and broke when you can die young and happy? i'd be rich! rich with happiness in my heart. i'd die while watching my favourite mountain and sky. i do not see myself spending my last moment on earth surrounded by prayers of people who are selfish into letting me go to heaven and paradise on my death bed. i do not dream of dying in a stream of my own blood as well. i want to go in peace and leave this earth with the best sight i can ever remember.most of our life's are according to a plan. you are given a plan on how to live your life since the day you were born. so if we always plan on living, when do we plan how to die?
oh foolish society. damn fools

i will be free soon, hence saying that i am spiritually materialized and i have a very big smile on my face.

good night.